Dang. Families. Dang-it-all

For those of you who aren't in the know, I've been using my parent's spare bedroom as my base of operations for some time now. It's miniscule, bordering on the ridiculously tiny, but it's home, and the rent was cheap (and since I'm unemployed now, it's probably going to become free soon enough). I have next to no room to move, but fuck it, it's mine, and it comes with food.

In the last little while, we tore up the carpet in the living room and adjacent hallways. Much in the way of rejoicing, as our old carpet is brown and yuckky. I think at one point it was meant to be some sort of shag, as the apartment is old, but now it's just plain hideous. I spend most of my time in my shoes. (My mother keeps a tidy home, and the carpet is not by any means dirty, it's just gross to look at). When they carpet came up, they found that certain portions of the concrete bore unmistakable signs of water absorption. ie: wet concrete. The new carpet comes next week.

They couldn't find the source of the water, as it's not coming down the walls in the living room.
Can you see it coming???
Can you???
It has been determined that the source of the leak is coming from my room. Now me, I took irrational offense to this, thinking that they were accusing me of, oh, I don't know, taking a whizz in the corner on account of me being lazy, but no, they think it might be a busted pipe.
We are going to 'haul everything out of your room, yank up the carpet, get rid of all the shit you don't need or use, and put everything back'.

sans carpet, which will, of course, be about as useful as a wobbly Starbucks outside table.

Now, the new carpet for the living room and hallway ran to over a grand with installation, which is no surprise and falls neatly into my conspiracy theories. (Makers of beds and eyeglasses and now carpet-sellers are all in it to fuck us poor, home renovation television show watching suckers over. There is also a conspiracy involving wheat, but I'll get to that later.) This means for me that there will be no new carpet until the coming summer.

Next came the kicker. This came out of my mother's mouth. 'We'll get you an area rug and some slippers'.

WHAT THE FUCK? slippers? area rug? The only guy I can ever remember wearing slippers is Tony Randall on the Odd Couple, and I've gotta tell ya, I own neither a pipe nor a smoking jacket that is mandatory part of the entire slipper ensemble. Anyone who even mentions big fuzzy slippers that look like cute things will be shot on sight.

I'm going to go now, and continue with my Smallville obsession.