Even EvilMister Has His Limits

Even though I am the new face of evil for the 21st century and beyond, there are some things that just should not be.

One of them is porcelain dolls. They're right up there on my list of fucking creepy shit. They sit there and stare at you with perfect stillness, their eyes never blinking, absorbing everything you say and do. They are mute witnesses, and their skin never changes.

It's some kind of Children of the Damned, Children of the Corn thing. I'm not stupid. I know they're dolls, that they're not real. But in the back of my mind, these creepy fucking things are just waiting for me to turn my back, and then it'll be all 'We're coming to get you' and 'Ma-Ma ... Ma-Ma ... Give me your spleen!!!!'. Sure you can collect 'em, sell 'em on EBay, make a shitload of money, but did you ever stop to think that maybe that's what they want? Once they've reached maximum planetary saturation, they will rise up in unholy porcelain life and kill us all. Even EvilMister will be unable to affect this.

STOP THE DOLLS. STOP THEM NOW, BEFORE THEY KILL US ALL!!!