Here's the Deal

If you're either the bad guy or the good guy (it doesn't matter which, for the purposes of this tirade), and you're chasing the enemy, and they run into the elevator, don't just shoot the doors! Stick your hand or your gun or what-the-fuck-ever in between the door and the frame. Elevators have this thing where if the sensors detect something passing through the entrance, the doors open again!!!! Even the old elevators have manual doorstops. It's not like it hurts, and for fuck's sake, you are chasing the enemy who's got the plans/shot the president/murdered your poodle/eaten your lunch, so I'd think catching the fucker is of paramount importance.

If they are running away, it's because they don't have ammunition, or they are frightened of you. If you stick your hand in the door, they're not going to pull you in because they don't want anything to do with you. You are the last person they want to see on the entire planet. And because you are chasing them, you have been smart enough to bring a handful of people with more guns as well.

So what if you get a little bruise, you puss-bag, you're catching the enemy! Suck it up, take a hit for the fucking team, and open the door with your hand. Or shit, throw a fucking grenade in there or something. Don't let the fuckers get away just because you're a sissy. Shit.

If it was me, my evil Lair would totally be a ground level ranch style affair. No elevators anywhere.

Shit. I don't even know why the fuck I bother.