The Flavor Blue?? What The Hell?
I am a self described gourmand (I eat almost everything I come across. Foreign foods? HAH! Parts of chicken that are used for walking? Double HAH! I am unafraid to try anything once. Sometimes I need to be told after what it is I've shoved down my gullet, but so far, so good.)
Food and I have an agreement. I like it, it likes me. And so the cycle of life continues, with me, sitting at the top, bag of Doritos in hand. (Doritos, you might now know, are the end result of millions of years of evolution. The doritus mammalia can be found all over the world, usually in small grocery stores, next to natcho giganticus.)
I gotta know, though, when blue became a flavor. Last I checked, blue was a color. You know what a color is, dontcha? I could go on and say that Webster's defines color as ... blah fuckity blah. I could even go on to explain that the colors we see are acutally refractions of light reacting to everything that everything is made out of, but I won't. We made it through the womb, and voila! We know what colors are.
Blue is not a food, nor is it a taste. I am marginally aware that there is both an 'orange' fruit and an 'orange' color. Notice I do not mention 'orange flavored drink' availabe at McDonald's. It is an aberration.
If we run around saying that blue is a flavor, I can guarantee you Ford will come out with 'Car', and that Hollywood will make 'Movie'. Then it'll spread to other foods, and strawberries will become 'red', or possibly 'red with seeds outside'.
Don't mistake me, here, people. I've had blue lemonade from Kool-Aid. It's tasty. But if you'll notice, it's actually called blue moon berry. There's also bubble gum flavored slurpees, and blueberry tasting popsicles. These are acceptable, people, because they are based on real tastes.
As far as I know, there is nothing in the world that simply tastes like blue. Blue has no taste. Since this is true, (it is because I say so) there is no possible way that I saw an ad for gum with 'extreme blue flavor'. It was an hallucination, and I am now taking donations to get my visual hallucinations back in line with the auditory ones.
There is no way that I saw it.
Food and I have an agreement. I like it, it likes me. And so the cycle of life continues, with me, sitting at the top, bag of Doritos in hand. (Doritos, you might now know, are the end result of millions of years of evolution. The doritus mammalia can be found all over the world, usually in small grocery stores, next to natcho giganticus.)
I gotta know, though, when blue became a flavor. Last I checked, blue was a color. You know what a color is, dontcha? I could go on and say that Webster's defines color as ... blah fuckity blah. I could even go on to explain that the colors we see are acutally refractions of light reacting to everything that everything is made out of, but I won't. We made it through the womb, and voila! We know what colors are.
Blue is not a food, nor is it a taste. I am marginally aware that there is both an 'orange' fruit and an 'orange' color. Notice I do not mention 'orange flavored drink' availabe at McDonald's. It is an aberration.
If we run around saying that blue is a flavor, I can guarantee you Ford will come out with 'Car', and that Hollywood will make 'Movie'. Then it'll spread to other foods, and strawberries will become 'red', or possibly 'red with seeds outside'.
Don't mistake me, here, people. I've had blue lemonade from Kool-Aid. It's tasty. But if you'll notice, it's actually called blue moon berry. There's also bubble gum flavored slurpees, and blueberry tasting popsicles. These are acceptable, people, because they are based on real tastes.
As far as I know, there is nothing in the world that simply tastes like blue. Blue has no taste. Since this is true, (it is because I say so) there is no possible way that I saw an ad for gum with 'extreme blue flavor'. It was an hallucination, and I am now taking donations to get my visual hallucinations back in line with the auditory ones.
There is no way that I saw it.
posted by Unknown @ 8:31 PM
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