EvilMister Encounters a New Stink That Could Kill Anyone Else

After working with Mr. Stinky, I would have thought it impossible to come across an odor worse short of doing dead body detail for the cops. I mean, I work in a spice factory. Other than all the different scents comingling as one, it ain't all that bad. Kind of like what I imagine a spice bazaar in India would smell like. Not bad, and you get used to it.

Today, though, was something else. Today was clean up day, which involves washing the living shit out of every goddamned thing in the entire warehouse. I squished all day long. Now, this is a fair trade, because I was fucking sleepy this morning, and didn't have to move anything heavier than my ass up and down the stairs. (this is because I spent an embarrasing amount of time playing NFS : Underground 2 this weekend, and had a pain in the ass time of getting to sleep.)

The warehouse has a big ol' grate and trap combination set up to catch all the runoff, and a strainer to ensure that all the big chunks of stuff don't get into the drain where it'd be a sumbitch to unclog. Naturally, the trap catches all kinds of gunk, goop, and detritus.

Let me point out now that spice, in vast quantities, does not dissipate. It accretes. It accumulates. It does all of these things to the point where it no longer drains out into the plumbing; now it sits in stagnant water, mixing with other, equally pungent spices. Occasionally crap from the bottom of feet (dirt, cigarette buts, etc) get in there as well. A smart person will realize that spice, when dry, attains no odor other than it already posseses. Spices sitting in water, being attacked by microbial bugs in water, will begin to undergo a transformation.

What kind of transformation?

1. Odor. All that fucking crapcrud stinks to high fucking heaven. It honestly smells exactly like shit. I am not exaggerating. Not at all. It brought tears to my eyes and a reflexive action in my stomach.
2. Texture and Consistency. There are actually two. One is a vaguely alluvial, silt-like consistency that lurks at the bottom of the pile, with the occasional chunk of weirdly solid hybridized gunk harder the concrete. The other is a watery brown stain broken up with creepy bubbles of indeterminate color.
   

In short, I was sucking stuff up through a wetvac that looked, smelled and sloshed around in the bucket like shit. It was awful. I haven't puked since ChubbyMonk's stag party, and like Jerry Seinfeld, I am now shooting for a record. I almost lost my lunch, breakfast and previous evening's dinner. It was horrid.

And I am told it will get worse when we mix things like fish oil.

Damn I love my job.